the doctors said that medications and therapy would fix my problems

wasn't really the case though

Minori has been a part of me since childhood.

my parents fought a lot. I wasn't allowed out. everyone looked down on me. I was pathetic. constantly rejected.

Minori was like the sister that I couldn't have. she was there when I needed her the most.

she'd always comfort me when I was alone. offered me matcha tea, sitting next to me on my bed when I was crying.

we'd mainly talk about my interests, which were her interests. we'd watch my favourite shows together, which were her favourites...

she talked more than I did. sometimes more than I would've liked, but that was just her

she made a mod of my favourite game, which was her favourite game, she was a really good coder, you know the rest...

even if she wasn't really there

what else was I supposed to do?

sit alone in my room and cry myself to sleep?

hurt myself?

die?

people would keep asking me "so is she like your girlfriend? is she your sister?" when I bring her up.

that hurts so fucking much

they have no idea. and it's not like you can tell them the truth

no... you're CRAZY. that's something crazy people have. you probably froth at the mouth and scream and other bullshit like that. you're schizo, you're high, you're this, you're that....

no. no I'm fucking not.

I'm just lost... and misunderstood...

tormented

corruptions of that magnitude in a phase world amplify one's hidden despair and sadness. you saw mine. and I still hate that

but you know

this phase world finally set me free. it's better than dying. better than anything I could've wished for

thank you.